新加坡的别名，寂寞

每个人心中都有不想说的秘密，我不过是拥有许多故事而已。对于刚认识我的人，我的过去是个迷，因为我的冷，无法靠近的冷。
以为自己会死在新加坡。 其实我快死了，寂莫几乎将我的灵魂撕裂，但我还是很努力的挣扎。认定自己快死了没什么不好，这样才会更加珍惜生命。
是什么让我抛弃家乡的一切，从一个熟悉的环境来到一个陌生的国度，那是别人的好奇心，我不愿也不想回顾。
新加坡是个干净的城市，可是一旦到了夜晚，笼罩在这城市的，却是会让人窒息的寂寞。
俯瞰窗外的夜空，冷冷的风，细细的雨，吹着的，正是新加坡一种叫寂寞空气。
寂寞？。。。
是的，白天的忙碌到了夜晚，既化作寂寞。
这就是新加坡。

Thank you, Father in heaven

I really really feel thankful to God, it's really a great experince in this matter and testify how God's work in me.
The power and authority belongs to HIM, only HIM.
Once again, I experinced God's grace, is so sufficien. I should hav faith in HIM before anything happen. Great lesson to me.
Thank you for all my dear frends, cg members, yours prayers meant to me.
Aligato..

My April Fool

A strong feeling like being fools around in S'pore in the event of "over staying".
I took half day leave to settle this issue. The agent seems very irresponble, keep saying just go to kastam, eventhough i told him i cant access bcoz i don't hav document or white card. What to do? Just go loh. Guess what??
Departure from Bugis to Woodland Kastam, am in a mood of frustration, can't stop worrying. With no surprise i being bloked in kastam and call to authority office. The officer is nice, very polite, he refered me to go MOM (Ministy of Manpower) to get my special pass.
It's spent me almost 1 hr to reach MOM at China Town. Keeping wondering what will happen next, i overshot, missed 2 station then i realised i stopped in Raffles Place. Argh... take taxi lah, tat would be faster.
Many ppl Q in MOM, my beg being checked by security in d entrance, as it is so common in any government building in S'pore. After a while, an officer came to me and says m over staying, considered as illegal, m sweating, really sweating and trembling, will they caff me? jail me? or bar me for entry?
Although m d one who know exactly what's been happening so screw them with the facts to stop them from pushing me around, yet, i still worrying. Being in a foreign land sometimes it does make me feel second class, like what Emily reply in fb.
The officer thus say..., "we cannot issue you a special pass", i look with intensity, "we shall fine you $100 for over staying".
Take a breath, relax... only penalty.
Consequences is...fine $100, only.
Quickly, i rush all d way to kastam again to ask for 1 month extention to stay in S'pore. And again, being call to authority office in d kastam, d same officer, telling me to fill in a white from JB, that's all.
I then finally get my white card as visitor pass in JB.
There, finishing my journey of my April fool.

Illegal Stay

I quit from my company but they cancelled my work pass without asking me to return d pass. They just verbally let agent know that I am resigning, and the agent simply cancel without giving any notice since 23/03.
I and my new company only noticed this when they helped me to apply a new work pass. I hence went to ICA (Immigration & Checkpoints Authority) to ask for special pass to extent my days of staying in S'pore, but d officer say nothihng to do with them and requested me to go back to my previous comp. With no surprise, my previous comp igoned this case and push everything to agent. Again i call agent, they wanted me to go kastam eventhou i may not allow to go out, bcoz my 7 days to stays in S'pore has ended since 23/03.
The incident triggered me that, I'm illegal staying in S'pore. Gosh! M a good citizen leh. Dunno what d Kastam will do to me later this evening....

Work Environment

My Workplace

my friends commented my place is messy. Huh to me, messy meh? It's still acceptable to me, as long as i know where i put my documents, that's enough.

D栋11楼

-1st Jan 2010 搬进这栋楼。
-屋主一家是西马人。
-有个菲佣，人很好。
-那是来新后，第三次搬家。
-这里是放工后，唯一可以休息喘息的地方。
-无聊时，看看买来的DVD及越来越多的书，
这些东西，会否成为下次搬家的累积呢？
-床上一堆的枕头，是我寂寞时拿来拥抱的温暖。
-D栋11楼的生活， 很平静，也是淡淡的幸福。

三十岁

三十岁以前总以为自己有很多时间。
而今三十岁了，开始紧张了。

Love

Love isn't about finding the perfect person,
it's about seeing an imperfect person, perfectly.
Sam Keen.

6pm, going home

Boss not around, can go back early.
New job is without my aspectation, not as good as what I want.
See loh, see long I can survive here.

Leaving...

Next Monday will be my last day in LYC Hardware & Engrg Pte Ltd, my first job in S'pore.
Cant wait for the new job.
No doubt no sadness, just want to be quitly run away from this unhealthy environment...

等一分钟

歌手：徐誉滕

如果时间
忘记了转
忘了带走什么
你会不会
至今停在说爱我的那天
然后在世界的一个角
有了一个我们的家
你说我的胸膛会让你感到暖

如果生命
没有遗憾
没有波澜
你会不会
永远没有说再见的一天
可能年少的心太柔软
经不起风经不起浪
若今天的我能回到昨天
我会向自己妥协

我在等一分钟
或许下一分钟
看到你闪躲的眼
我不会让伤心的泪挂满你的脸
我在等一分钟
或许下一分钟
能够感觉你也心痛
那一年我不会让离别成永远

如果生命
没有遗憾
没有波澜
你会不会
永远没有说再见的一天
可能年少的心太柔软
经不起风经不起浪
若今天的我能回到昨天
我会向自己妥协

Today's lesson

He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood. Luke 22:44

Through difficulties, we discover how little we hav of God's Holy Spirit.

There we learn our own weakness and yield to the Holy Spirit to pray in us.

There we take our place in Christ Jesus and abide in Him as our only plea with the Father.

There our own will and strength are crucified.

There we rise in Christ to newness of life.

Summer or Autumn

如果没说是在

新加坡，这些枯萎的草地还真有点像国外的秋天。

我不属于这里

回来新加坡一个星期了，心情仍然很忧郁。
很想家，想念妈妈，想念我的小弟妹们。。
虽然这里还有个亲弟弟，有我新结交的朋友，但这里没有我的心。
处在这个陌生的城市，看着熙攘来往的都市人，毫无表情的面孔，更让我倍感孤单。
是的，因为孤单，因为逐渐冷却的热情，因为繁忙的工作压力，我的一颗心已开始漂浮，迷失了方向。
上帝啊，这里真的不属于我。你晓得我的忧愁，如果没办法在短时间里回到我的生长地，请你改变我的心思意念，好让我可以适应这个不属于我的陌生城市。